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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27353260">Necessary Roughness</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/slasher48/pseuds/slasher48'>slasher48</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aftermath of Possession, Anti-Jack Kline, Autistic Castiel (Supernatural), Depressed Castiel (Supernatural), Depressed Dean Winchester, Episode: s14e02 Gods and Monsters, Gen, Greyromantic Demisexual Castiel, Guilty Castiel (Supernatural), M/M, Pre-Slash, Protective Dean Winchester, Season/Series 14 Spoilers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 11:35:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>975</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27353260</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/slasher48/pseuds/slasher48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Everybody's got it rough, but Dean only wants to talk about one person right now.</p><p>Of course, that one person only wants to talk about Dean.</p><p>They find time for both.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel &amp; Amelia Novak, Castiel &amp; Dean Winchester, Castiel &amp; Jack Kline, Castiel &amp; Jimmy Novak (Supernatural), Castiel &amp; Nick (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester, Michael &amp; Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Necessary Roughness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my way of addressing the fact that everyone seemed to forget Castiel is a person in 14x02, and just treated him as a babysitter of two very irritating babies, while they went to get Dean.</p><p>WARNINGS AT THE BOTTOM.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Heard you had it rough,” the voice comes, as Castiel is standing in his bedroom. And he just can’t help but smile.</p><p>“I think we’ve got enough to handle right now, with <em>your</em> ‘roughness’,” he says softly, shaking his head. It’s just like Dean, to return from being possessed by an <em>archangel</em>, and ask how <em>he’s</em> doing. Castiel has missed him so much.</p><p>“Yeah, that’s part of why I’m here,” Dean says, and Castiel turns to face him, finally. Dean looks…rough, for lack of a less overused word. Defeated and downtrodden. More tired, than he usually is, which is impressively much.</p><p>“Ah. We’ll talk about me, so we don’t have to talk about you, then,” Castiel says, with a hint of dry humor. With less fondness, than he feels. Dean doesn’t need an encounter with <em>that</em>, on top of everything else.</p><p>“I mean, kinda. Mostly, we’re gonna talk about you, because hardly anybody’s talked about you since I, uh. Got back. Jack’s into his family thing, and Mom’s… I don’t even know. Sam and everybody, their ears are all on the ground, looking for King Douchebag, I guess. They told me what happened with you, like I said, but nobody, like- ” Dean shakes his head. Disgusted, if Castiel had to guess; though he cannot guess, at what.</p><p>“So, <em>you</em> tell me. Give me a problem to deal with that ain’t my own goddamn <em>body</em>, maybe.”</p><p>Castiel hums, thinking about it. Giving it all due consideration. And then he drops onto his bed, and nods.</p><p>“I don’t know where Nick is,” he begins, quiet and guilty, as Dean sinks into the bed beside him. “I was chosen to babysit, and I lost a ‘baby’. I should have paid more attention, Dean, and I’m- ”</p><p>“Hey, don’t even say it. I’ve been there, Cas, and trust me, if the baby wants to go, he’s gonna go.” Dean’s face wrinkles, and Castiel hides a smile. “And poop jokes aside, this is a grown man, okay. He’s making choices.”</p><p>Castiel nods, with only slight reluctance. “I suppose.” Then he sighs, putting his head in his hands, and goes on, “I don’t know where <em>Jack</em> is, either.”</p><p>“What? The kid’s in the kitchen, eating us out of house and home, like any other kid.”</p><p>“That isn’t what I mean,” Castiel says, with a shake of his head. “I don’t know where his <em>mind</em> is, Dean. I keep trying to reach him. Relate to him. Show him some path, that may befit him, but.”</p><p>“But what, Cas?” Dean sounds so gentle, and it makes Castiel’s chest ache, with affection. However little he deserves, that gentleness.</p><p>“…I think maybe we’re not built that way,” he confesses, glancing up at Dean’s face and then forcing his gaze away before it can, get stuck there. “I can help him, as I promised, but I don’t think we’ll ever really, connect.”</p><p>“That’s some self-hating horseshit, Cas. If anybody can get to the kid, it’s you.”</p><p>Frustration wells in Castiel, as he shakes his head, denying it again. “Dean, he doesn’t even- I <em>try</em>, but he’s not even aware of my- ”</p><p>Dean leans closer, his eyebrows scrunching with concern. “The hell are you trying to say, Cas?”</p><p>Castiel sighs, one huge breath that rattles its way out of him. “Never mind. I’ll just- I must keep trying.”</p><p>That’s not a conversation he’s prepared to have, no matter how relevant it is.</p><p>“…K. Let’s put Jack on the backburner for a sec, then. How’d it go with Nick? Why’d he vamoose?”</p><p>Castiel can feel it when he hunches, drawing tighter into himself, and he’s sure that Dean can see it. “We had an argument, about- about what I’ve done.” He swallows. “To Jimmy Novak.”</p><p>Dean makes a noise, that sounds a lot like irritation. “Cas, it’s not like you had a fucking <em>choice</em>. Angels weren’t exactly <em>asking</em> whether you wanted a vessel or not.” His eyes are hard, when they meet Castiel’s. Uncompromising. “And you did the absolute best you could, with the one you got. You saved the <em>world</em>, Cas. No <em>way</em> that Jimmy feels about you, like Nick does.”</p><p>Castiel shakes his head, picturing with vivid detail, the horrible fate of Amelia Novak. “But Nick was- ”</p><p>“A dick,” Dean cuts him off, and then snorts. “What a rhyme, man. But, like. Cas, Nick just wants someone to blame, and you were the closest angel who wouldn’t rip out his fucking tongue. It doesn’t mean he’s right.”</p><p>Castiel purses his lips, turning away from Dean to stare at his hands, clasped in his lap. “I did, snatch a body.”</p><p>Dean huffs, with enough passion that Castiel has to look into his eyes again. There’s a fire behind them. The most life he’s seen, since Sam, Mary, and Bobby had brought him in. “Which one of us is human and got possessed by an angel, again? Cas, take it from me. It ain’t that simple. You were good to Jimmy—good as you <em>could</em> be. It’s a whole universe of difference, to play horsie with an angel who isn’t. To do literal <em>evil</em>, Cas. With your own hands.”</p><p>The intensity in Dean’s voice, distracts Castiel from his own issue entirely. For now. He puts his own hand, over the hands in question, and gently squeezes, eyes heavy on Dean’s. “…Tell me about it, Dean.”</p><p>And then those eyes, that he so adores, dull with what’s surely (almost) unimaginable pain, and he wants to retract that. Talk more about himself, if only to banish the shadows forming in Dean’s face.</p><p>“It was six seasons and a made-for-TV movie’s worth of not good, Cas,” Dean begins, almost a warning, and Castiel nods. Doesn’t turn away, doesn’t flinch back even an inch.</p><p>He knows just what Dean means.</p><p>And it’ll be difficult, he’s sure, but he’s willing to hear <em>everything</em>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning for discussions of and potential apologism about, angel possession.</p><p>Side note: I don't like Jack, I don't believe he actually belongs, and I wrote this as though the connection Castiel is searching for with Jack (to make it easier to keep his promise to Kelly) is impossible, because Jack doesn't actually want to get to know him (not even well enough to understand why Cas would be so adamant about Dean staying alive), just use him for his parenting. Nothing in the show so far has suggested otherwise to me.</p><p>I also don't like Nick, he should be dead along with Lucifer by the show's own rules, and the way he treated Castiel was abhorrent.</p><p>I find them both to be utterly useless characters who are only alive, sympathized with, and central, because they're cisallohet white men. If that's the kind of thing you're looking for, you'll find it in this fic--the last I ever wrote before Jack took over the show and it became impossible for me to see the characters I loved past what the show was doing to them, anymore.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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